whatever.

I just came across a link on the whole Second life the hidden trouble of prostitution, and frankly i do not give a fuck about it in the first place. people seem to be giving a big stink on something remotely unimportant, and i don`t get the whole bloody problem. i do not care what goes on in a virtual world as it`s not real and does not convey anything remotely of any interest of me whatsoever, but on the other hand people seem to be taking this seriously and saying oh this shit is sick, i won`t play sl anymore because this stuff goes on and it goes on like that. i really think these people are insanely stupid, and insanely unimaginative. it is just a fucking videogame for fuck sake. this stuff  is not real, so i dont get why they have to attack something that is not  real to begin with. i don`t care if your morals are that fucked up to begin with, because in a virtual world where your fantasies are supposed to come true, i`d suggest you throw your morals out the window and do what you want.  i don`t know why the media and people would even be interested in this stuff in the first place, it`s just wrong. i think their possibly the issue at hand on this post, the whole moral vs religion vs falsities of the intercepted unreality.  i am seriously laughing at the people that make this a big deal to begin with. it is a upsetting subject to other people and i still don`t know why that is. it`s coming to the point that any form of virtual art of any form is becoming against the law in many ways. for this reason  people are afraid to even emote, draw or create their inner most deepest creativity or sexuality. people are now fleeing to japan just to get out their artistic expression out their, but if they do it in another country say, gerrmany, uk, american, canada or any place outside of japan will be scrutinized and hated upon just because it happens to involve virtual or graphical depictions of  child pornography. their are no real children involved and still to this day people are whining pedo just because they simply don`t understand the values of diversity.

today i was just looking at the youtube video of hidden prostitution. huh their is not hidden prostitution, second life is just created mainly for sex. if you can`t handle the sexual nature of second life  i don`t know why you`d play it to begin with if you did not in the first place have virtual feelings for virtual avatars such as pretend kids or in their terms virtual children committing acts  of sex, when in the real world  kids do in fact engage in sexual experimentation and other things they either hear about or see. in this world they go on about how it can leak into your mind and make you want to do these things and go on about how disturbing, wrong and horrifying it is, when people just don`t fucking care. i would not doubt it if a person at sky news engaged in this kind of stuff just for the thrill of it and not for it`s notoriety of it.  if they had the decency to look and seek it out like they did in the video they seriously have some sexual issues or are so heartless to get a story out and fear the public so much that they will email or comment on their youtube page giving out their disgusting on something  that is not even good enough to bitch and moan about. this stuff has been going on for years and it wont stop and will continue to grow in popularity as the world grows older and older, for the whole thrill of getting possibly banned. people are so afraid of something that they haven`t even tried and could in the end enjoy it. if your gonna make a videogame based on the fantasies of individuals that have thoughts like this and then you decide to ban it over some news people reporting on how wrong it is and other things along that like line, is seriously afraid of getting in trouble. it was for the longest time by the lindens no cared about and then some idiot with a camera shows them pics and they just go berserk to save their own ass. what kind of company is that. i think one that`s  afraid to take risks anymore. it`s like one bad piece of publicity and a bad rep and their afraid of loosing investors and shit like that, kind of sad if you ask me.

i support virtual pedophilia and stuff like that as it shows the world that we do have the guts to do it in world and not in the real world, as their are many many laws protecting children for these types of things. it can emotionally fuck with their heads and make them almost dependent on others as they reach adult hood as they`d become to afraid to push thereselves to their deepest potential. if this stuff continues to be in world it is for the better on mankind as their will be less child endangerment as the children in the virtual worlds are adults to and should be able to do as they please without someone ruining their fun by a linden that is probably doing it too or afraid of the press molesting them in the ass about how it`s soo wrong to do these types of things in the first place. i do not find it wrong, i don`t find it offensive. i do not find anything wrong with it in any way, i think it is very healthy and very wise to do in a videogame then to do it in real life. it`s a shame that people are afraid of this stuff, as their missing out on some creativeness here. by the way things are going in the way of religion and what not, in 10 20 years from now, all sexuality of all forms will be abolished from the world, making us the disney state. religion has ruined a lot of good potential of child and adult sexuality. we have repressed so much since the 60`s and 70`s. sexuality will soon be out of existence if they way religion is taking us now. their seriously brainwashing us to think that any form of sex without marriage is immoral and wrong, when we are basically ment for sex. we live to procreate, we live to work then die and then we are told what told what to do by a man that lives in the cloud or in space for that matter, and we oddly listen to these preachers telling us about him, and how he does not want us to have sex with anyone accept in marriage and if you have sex outside of that your going to hell, and he loves you. wow some god that is. my brother jordy told me constantly that people go in packs  and if someone is offended by this shit their all offended, and that person tries to convert that person and it just never ends. i do not know this whole flock mentality when you can just make a descision by themselves and not have some guy in the clouds or in a book tell you what you cant do. these are the main reasons wars are created because some asshole with a wrong opinion is taken full throttle and takes action, and then everyone like idiots join in and take down a nation that was once good.  religion i find is a form of fear. if it is not in the book jesus  and involves something people don`t know or don`t want to know about they get all protective and shut you out staying with that constant opinion and not get once remotely say wait, hmm what a i doing, maybe if i talk to him maybe he will be nice back, not omgh he`s against our god kill him kill him or alienate him just because he has a better output then you then other people. sexuality is ment to be in everything not restrict movement. i think sexuality is in kids, but people believe in their innocence so much, that any form of mommy my friend stuck his pp in my bum and it was warm, and he sucked it also. when the parent here something like this they just start screaming, panicking and end up blowing a simple exploration attempt as wrong, immoral and couldnt happen. well it does, i have had it happen to at a young age, and i remember the warm feeling i got from it. yes kids can feel sensations in their private area`s but parents don`t tell their kids anything at an early age  as their deeply afraid that maybe the kid will go out searching for it, and possibly learn to enjoy it,  and not be afraid of it when their parents say oh honey what that boy did was wrong. if it was my kid i`d say did you enjoy it, did you consent to it. not omgh he did what calls cops. this is the reason why people are freaking out over second lifes virtual representation of it. as they are still stuck in the mind of believing what the media is telling them, and won`t dare question it. if it`s not real i don`t care and shouldn`t even be mentioned.

the world is against me

i now feel that the world and everyone is against me now, and want nothing to do with me,  just because i act a certain way that is not what people would consider normal, or even remotely cool for some odd reason at that.  i don`t get how people have so many expectations of me and think that, if  i don`t , they will have any excuse to get rid of me or ban me from their life entirely and leave me out of the picture forever. i don`t get this whole function as one bullshit!!. if your told to be yourself and don`t be anyone else but yourself should be discarded after you reach adulthood, it just does not happen at all, and i don`t even know why we are told to be ourselves when further down the road it`s like you cannot say things like that it`s not nice, it`s something you should not say to anyone. why would people throughout our childhood tell us to never grow up and never change, and then when you say something totally out of line they just get insanely weird on you,

and again end up fucking off again out of your life, just because you basically stated your opinion.  to me these are just words and have no justification  to be taken seriously, but to be taken with little regard, and have ability to walk it off, and not just say you know man i`m done with you, i`m sick of your shit. i don`t even know what  they mean by shit, because i have never pooped on the, and i don`t think i`d want to poop on them it just is not my thing. if the worlds has this  so called way of thinking, i just don`t want to be apart of their so called life, and just be all to myself, not caring what happens of me in the near futures. i don`t understand the basis of reality, if your told to shelter yourself off from  being in anyway hurtful or truthful. bending the truth to me is not cool, it totally destroys what your saying, and sometimes in the end makes you feel like an idiot, as you really wanted to say it, but what society, religion   and other things have this mentality of saying that being yourself is a curse, being yourself is not the way to be, but if you hold in your thoughts, hold in your true feelings  for what you feel about them or other people is the best way to be. to me that is basically being fake,

and having nothing to put to table at all. we are suppressed   sexually, intellectually and other things that society does not seem right  to other people has to be held in until one day you have this big nervous breakdown that cause extremeness, and you basically end up hurting the ones you love more the ones that truly hate you. it can takes it toll insanely, and can sometimes literally cause death as the trauma can be too much to handle if your emotions as just tucked away.  a person were`s a shit outfit, your in your head thinking dammit that suit is hideous and should be left in some old retired dumpster down near the homeless shelter so it can rot, but the spoken speech version outside of your head = oh that`s a nice suit, where did you get. is it vintage. who the hell speaks like that on a daily basis and the next hour is thinking inside, i should of said what i wanted to say. i do not care if peoples feelings get hurt, it`s called telling the truth, not suppressing the thought. people also have a happen to break their promises to me also, they tell me dude i will never leave you, i will always be your friend and not hurt you. well guess what those people are full of shit and are not to be trusted at all, because literally in the end their gone, not even caring what will happen to you, walking about like the heartless bastards that they are. if your not gonna give me your direct word, why the fuck are you even trying to be friends with me. i value friendship more then others realize, and their too stubborn to get it past their skull that, i am true to my word a lot of the time, and i will not turn my back on someone just cause of some stupid thing they did.

i don`t like to be lied to, or said that they will always be their to support you. it`s all lies in the end, nothing but lies, and the only way out is either by killing yourself, or just pushing yourself so far away from them that you are socially unaware of these people anymore. the government lie threw their teeth too, but i don`t see them doing much else. i would call the government manipulators if you asking me always bending the truth, trying to make everyone happy, but in the end like my friends in second life or in real life everyone just lies threw their teeth to get what they want or whatever they want to accomplish around you. i find that not right and not cool. i was  recently kicked out from an sl i family i really liked, and they give me this stupid excuse of i cause chaos, and create havoc, but never think of the consequences.  that was a stupid statement in the end, and she also promised i could stay forever, and that she was my friend, but no she had to kick me out like everyone else and not have the decency to work it out with me, so i got insanely pissed off at her, and threatened her. i still like her but she should not have the right to lie to me threw her teeth. my now ex sl girlfriend also lied to me, and she claims she is sick of my sick, and all i did was tell her off about her shitty ass real life and kid, and she takes it to heart,

and goes on about how she is sick of my shit, and i did nothing wrong but tell her how i felt about her real life, and she considers that my shit. that`s  pretty low in a lot of levels if you ask me. the thing is if you promise to be my friend you have to be their 100 percent no matter the shit i stir, because friendship is strong forever in my eyes, and meaningless in the eyes of others. i also hate it when they only give me minutes attention and spend more time with someone else then me. it is not me being selfish, but i loose attention when they get their so called boyfriends, and forget that i even exist, and do everything together, and shut me out of the picture. you should not have friends if your gonna spend hrs upon hrs with your partner, then even acknowledge that your friends exist is pretty low. i know that their your  everything and all, but at least have the time to talk to me like the old days, and not be afraid of new things. i am not  a bad guy, but when you corner me i will be your worst nightmare,

and that was what happened last night, i could not help myself, cause the person that said they loved me go rid of me like i was a piece of dirt. i know she was gonna be my friend, but you should not be a fucking wanker and make me feel less of a person.  i deeply love the people still that i hurt a lot, and don`t realize i hurt them more then i know. it is not my fault some of the time that i cannot feel their emotions threw their typing or there so called typing body language. i do not want to be talked down to, and told oh your out of the family but we can still be friends or some shit along those lines. i think she did not really mean it as next moment she is removing me, returning my stuff from the sim i bloody lived on. that is not a sign of a friend, more on the lines of oh i`m sorry, i am your friend but i do not want you in my life anymore. that is not friendship, that is called get rid of me, and not caring about me in anyway. people have this feeling that i am a threat against their second life happiness, when all i do is be my self and nothing, more and to them that`s not good enough,

i have to be this false super nice asshole that everyone expect, cannot be someone that i am not, but the people in their think that i can think before i speak, think before i act, think before i whatever the fuck that means.  i am fucking sick of the people in sl telling me how and how i can`t act, as it disrupts their train of thoughts. i do not like being lied to, i want the immediate truth, and not have someone go the extra mile to believe that i don`t fucking mix or fit in with their false realities in a game that is so boring now, and so uninspiring, that they have the guts to just nod me off, yes i say this a lot it`s the fucking truth. their was one person i truly cared about, and that guy decided to think i shat on him as a friend and brother, when i did not, i just told someone something i saw in another grid, and he gets this feelings that i have risked his boyfriends sl account, when i know for a fact that he was not gonna get banned. just because i  may of took the piss for a skin, does not give you the right to take your boyfriends side, people fuck up so it should be forgotten really fast. i have this odd theory, that people have no right to get mad at me, no right to even throw me away, and if they do get mad their only allowed to get rid of me or be mad for only 30 minutes and everything has to be fine again, and not the other way around. i have been fighting some hard battles in rl too, from people saying i should grow up, act my age, get a job,

get out of the house more maybe get married and get your own places. i do not know what they mean by these things. i don`t know why people have this obsession of being grownup, acting mature as soon as you hit adulthood. i don`t believe in that, i believe the being forced to change for society is so wrong, and in it`s own right not cool.

i will not be a role model for any kid for that matter, or look bloody professional, that`s not how i work, but oddly 99 percent of these people fucking comply with these standards, and i see them slowly start to loose their fun side, loose their life, loose their happiness, and become this fake monster inside of them. if we are told to be this way, what is the point to live if we are going to be a lobotomized maggot.  that is not the way life goes. in my version of life, and threw the world that i see is that you should be yourself, be fun, be happy, be random, travel the world meet new people and die. that`s how the world should be instead of being told that you have to work to live. pay for your food, bills and anything that you truly desire to be, but  this is also a form of mind control ,programming and  population control. i have seen lots of people seriously loose their minds in a world that is ruled around what is right and what is wrong, we should have the ability to do as we please and not have the moral police come at your house saying. oh i`m sorry but your under arrest for having free thought process.  just like that amazing movie equilibrium.    it`s like we are being controlled by everything, and if we don`t do it the way that the  thought police have programmed into you, your grounds for fast termination in the most painful way possible. brain deletion and being put in a controlled environment, being  showed pictures of what normal people do, and if you refuse this, they will make you see it their way by sticking a warm needle up your bum, and put in the   anti thought process room, and be shown video`s of what the world is like in a nice happy way, and not be having to deal with the one that has free thought process, and make them look bad. it`s all in the paperwork people, if you reach behind your brain and feel that little lump on the back of your skull. that`s where the other police also known as the thought police linger around, watching everything you do, watching what you think. they are always around you making sure that one day you do fuck up, and that is the day

they come for you, and take you to the anti thought room and hospital, and force happy on you by any means to get you in line. yes they do place their hand on that bulge in the back of your skull and slowly and painfully removing it, and  then delete it, and then putting in another one in their, so it`s even harder to fuck up threw thought process, and they hurt you even more if they break that mold,. the first one tracks you, the 2nd one gives you a major headache, and if you mess up one last time, they put the huge thought process plug in you, with a little bomb, that if you once i mean once fuck up or try to even become the way you once were will literally blow up. detaching your brain from it`s stem creating  brain disconnect. once that happens you will be  something that they want from the get go, but since you messed up those many times you are now a pin cushion and also a coma induced  mental patient, having know plans to ever wake up. your basically a living guinea pig waiting to be experimented on, and having know way of knowing where you are, what is happening to you. you will basically have nothing to lose anymore as you will be slowly and i mean slowly gone from this world, and will have know way of returning to a fun state anymore, just their will.if you by chance do get out, you will one of them, yes just them your mind will be gone, your freedom though process will be gone,

their will be nothing left of your old self, even your subconscious will be gone.  i do not want that to happen to me at all, but the way i am going. it is gonna happen fairly soon and i will fight these bastards until the day i die, i will not be apart of this so called world anymore, i will just be the one that everyone forgot, the one that is no longer in their lives anymore, no longer aware that i am alive or dead. so in the end it was nice to know you all, but i am not truly not ment to be here anymore. i don`t like this state i am in , but  i can`t bare to be in a world like this any longer. i will be the one that time forgot, and live on the way i am now, different, kind of happy and  a person with free thought process and not hidden behind the wall of deceit, but the one that is truly himself and normal.

goodbye everyone, it was nice while i was still alive, but i cant work or be in a world where i cannot have the ability to be myself and have to be this false entity that is fake, unfun and uncool. if you cannot accept me in this bleak,unfocused ,heartless, sadistically harmful realities. i will cease to exist within your mind,and continue on in the darkness, waiting to someday find myself, and find the world that truly accepts me.

i hope your happy for what you have done and created in a world full of moral police, thought police and asshole that don`t understand my ways of thinking, and dialect.

by all. Serverus.

by the way, i love this song here and is very very emotional for me. their called gratitude. enjoy    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59EgHG8H9Pg